Performance Appraisals Revisited

GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS= Able to bullshit
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS= Spends lots of time on phone
AVERAGE EMPLOYEE= Not too bright
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED= Made no major blunders yet
WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY= Too ugly to get a date
ACTIVE SOCIALLY= Drinks a lot
FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY= Spouse drinks, too
INDEPENDENT WORKER= Nobody knows what he/she does
QUICK THINKING= Offers plausible excuses
CAREFUL THINKER= Won't make a decision
AGGRESSIVE= Obnoxious
USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS= Gets someone else to do it
EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL= Speaks English
METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL= A nit picker HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES= Is tall or has a loud voice
EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT= Lucky
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR= Knows a lot of dirty jokes
CAREER MINDED= Back Stabber
LOYAL= Can't get a job anywhere else